You have to right now?

Last week I wrote about a lesson I learned when I hiked a volcano in Guatemala. This week I have another story to share from that day. After our hike, our group spent some time at the base to get snacks, use the bathroom, and chill before heading back.  I’m pretty sure all of us used the bathroom. Why am I mentioning this? I’ll get to it, trust me.

This little guy was in the cafe and I was trying to think of a way to take him home.

This little guy was in the cafe and I was trying to think of a way to take him home.

The ride back was a little over an hour. For the most part, everyone was exhausted and many of us nodded off. I for one did. As we approached Antigua all of us woke up. On the outskirts of the town our progress was stopped by a funeral procession. When this happens the street is filled with mourners. The van driver pulled over and turned off the engine. He knew we would be there for some time. I’m sorry I didn’t take any photos out of respect for the people. If you haven’t seen it, it is amazing to witness.

As I sat in the van watching the procession I heard one of the gals say, “Um, Dad, can I talk to you outside?” The father sounded slightly confused, but agreed. It took some doing to get the father and daughter out of the vehicle since all of us were crammed in. A moment later, the father opened the front door and spoke to the tour guide. There was an emergency. The gal needed a toilet. When the mother heard this she said, “I told her to go before we left!” This surprised me since the daughter was in college. Old enough to know to use a toilet before a road trip. And I waited in line with the daughter so I’m pretty sure she did. The mother didn’t realize that the daughter was not feeling well.

I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure she had diarrhea. What timing! Maybe it was something she ate or drank. The guide hopped out of the car since he didn’t think it was safe for the father and daughter to wander off in search of a toilet.

Fortunately the guide knew someone who lived nearby and the daughter was able to use a real toilet. The entire time the mother complained about her daughter not listening to her. The funeral procession ended, however we were stuck on the side of the road waiting for the her to return. It took some time. Everyone in the van, besides the mother, felt awful about the situation. Also, I think many of us were trying not to laugh about it. Can you imagine getting sick while stuck on the side of the road during a funeral procession?

When the girl returned she hid her face from everyone. I finally think the mother figured it out. At least I hope she did. The father shot her a pretty nasty look. I know in my case it doesn’t take me that long to pee. Thirty minutes later we were back on the road. It took us less than five minutes to reach our destination. The poor girl. She was so close and yet so far. I never saw her again, but it will be hard to forget her.

About TBM

TB Markinson is an American who's recently returned to the US after a seven-year stint in the UK and Ireland. When she isn't writing, she's traveling the world, watching sports on the telly, visiting pubs in New England, or reading. Not necessarily in that order. Her novels have hit Amazon bestseller lists for lesbian fiction and lesbian romance. She cohosts the Lesbians Who Write Podcast ( with Clare Lydon. TB also runs I Heart Lesfic (, a place for authors and fans of lesfic to come together to celebrate lesbian fiction.
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45 Responses to You have to right now?

  1. ouch, when you gotta go, you gotta go

  2. Oh, how I can relate to that!! Remind me to tell you sometime what happened on one of my first dates with Mike. For now you can use your imagination but suffice it to say it involved a trip home to get changed LOL!!!

  3. Oh yes…I feel her pain 😦

  4. LaVagabonde says:

    Oh, that poor girl.

  5. Now I just want to hear the Loony ones story

  6. minqan says:

    Great story, poor girl. Te mother sounds just like my mom, who seems to think I’m still not a day over five and I’ll be 40 next year. 🙂 I think some mother maybe just want to preserve that old good time, when kids where just kids, cute, innocent and very dependent.

    • TBM says:

      I’m not a parent, but I bet it’s hard when your daughter leaves for college. On one hand you’re proud and the other you want to turn back the clock. I’ll be forty in a little over a year as well 🙂

  7. That is awful. I think we’ve all had some version of that story happen to us in our lives and it may be memorable but is never for good reasons. I’m sure the mother was just embarrassed but it is hard when people have that kind of personality where they cannot help but deal with their feelings by talking/criticizing. I’m sure the family had a nice little fight when they got back to their room.

    • TBM says:

      The father was so nice and was doing his best to take care of the situation discreetly. I think the mom was exhausted from the hike. She was one of the last ones down. So was I, that’s how I know. And she seemed to have that type of personality: to point out flaws. Traveling with loved ones is grand most of the time, but it does seem easier to get on a loved ones nerves quickly. I know we’ve gotten into stupid fights. Fortunately one of us realizes it and then we have a good laugh. We’ve gotten much better about not bickering when we are lost.

      • We’ve gotten better over the years too and always seem to make more of an effort to keep in mind that we are on vacation and should be relaxed and enjoying ourselves, even when things don’t go according to plan.

      • TBM says:

        Sometimes vacations are work, especially when things don’t go according to plan. Like you though, we remind ourselves at least we aren’t at work and we should enjoy our time no matter what. Makes for some good stories at the pub when we get back though.

  8. Extremely telling (and understandable based on the witchy behavior of the Mom) that she spoke to her Dad. It has nothing to do with letting go (in either sense)…it has everything to do with being. a narcissist and needing to be the center of attention.

  9. fgassette says:

    Oh the poor girl. It happens to all of us. When you get pass 60 it can happen more than you like. If you gotta go, you gotta go. (smile)


    • TBM says:

      I’ve been in similar situations, and it’s never fun. Funny much later on, but at the time, humiliating. Yes some things can’t wait.

  10. aFrankAngle says:

    Horrible feeling made into a good story.

  11. petit4chocolatier says:

    I feel sorry for the young girl. She may have been ill to begin and possibly really didn’t want to go on the tour. How sad.

    I love that little dog and would have wanted to find a way to take him home too 🙂

  12. pattisj says:

    That would be a miserable feeling. Glad they were able to help her out. Five minutes is a long time when it’s urgent!

  13. nrlymrtl says:

    A few years ago, I had the very unfortunate experience of public vomiting. I had been at a convention and on the flight home the illness suddenly overtook me. I vomited twice on the plane, once at landing, and then again walking through the airport. It was so sudden, and i am so grateful there was a nearby trashcan. I couldn’t look anyone in the face except my man who was picking me up.

    • TBM says:

      Oh that’s just awful. I hope your man took care of you. Once after riding a roller coaster I threw up in a trash can. Then I drove home and went to bed. That’s when I realized I got old and could no longer stomach roller coasters. It was a sad day. Man I used to love them when I was a kid.

  14. Lucid Gypsy says:

    I’ve been lucky so far when I travel but have been with a friend who had a similar problem and its a nightmare 😦

  15. That’s horrible. it’s like a nightmare really. A past boyfriend had this problem just before we left Thailand on a 9 hour flight back to Sydney. He was not so fortunate as to make it to the bathroom……………………

    • TBM says:

      Oh goodness, that’s horrible. Once one of my flights was delayed since a woman was in the airplane bathroom too ill to leave. I felt for her, yet it was the last flight out for me to make a wedding on time and I was the maid of honor. It wasn’t a good situation all around. Fortunately I made it, missed the rehearsal, but I was there for the big moment.

  16. Caroline says:

    Such a mortifying experience for a young girl.

  17. The Hook says:

    What a tale.
    Great work – again!

  18. Fergiemoto says:

    Oh, the poor girl. I really feel for her, and how horrible for it to come in public like that
    I’ve been dealing with a stomach bug or something this week, and when you gotta go, you gotta go…right now…no waiting!

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